When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

Initially of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Common issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas it is a sobering name to motion, there is no such thing as a denying that sober curiosity has elevated not too long ago. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and inspecting their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. At this time we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however actually not the questions on what we will do if we’re eager about a sober (fully alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we strategy consuming as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I feel it’s a really private determination, however when you’re any form of an everyday drinker (which means three or 4 nights every week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way in which you are feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other means. Should you’re not consuming throughout the week, however then consuming a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the prospect to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her e book, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of alternative for not less than 4 weeks offers clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely will not be doable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you don’t have any thought how shitty you actually really feel while you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you are feeling shitty. It normally takes a couple of weeks on your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there issues/greatest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually is dependent upon what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to only see when you may make it with out consuming for 30 days? Or have been you searching for actual well being advantages? Or did you understand that your consuming has elevated over the previous few years and you understand you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is actually what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. Should you spend a variety of time bargaining with your self every time alcohol is concerned, which ends up in a variety of “guidelines” round your consuming, you would possibly need to take a step again.

You won’t even pay attention to these guidelines. They’ve simply change into a part of your internal chatter. That chatter would possibly sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No consuming earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No onerous alcohol throughout the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and so on.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on every week evening.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The top days of my consuming have been full of elaborate and arcane guidelines that have been always shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down day by day, and that form of self-disappointment was like a continuing stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your consuming. You would possibly simply determine that it’s not value it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this pondering “I do not need an issue with my alcohol consumption however need to take a extra conscious strategy to what I eat/drink,” what questions must be explored when eager about alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round consuming and the assumption that there are “downside drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and sensible, mannequin to make use of in relation to speaking about alcohol is the thought of consuming occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the thought of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The great thing about this mannequin is that you simply don’t have to hit any form of a all-time low earlier than you may discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to determine at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

Should you’re able to get trustworthy with the position alcohol performs in your life, I’d counsel sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get interested by your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to suppose. That is about you and the one life that you’ve got, and whether or not or not you need a poisonous substance to play a job within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does consuming align with the particular person I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this state of affairs?

Tam: What if our mates have gone again to consuming after Dry January, however we are attempting to proceed. Do you’ve got ideas/suggestions for find out how to make this a part of my way of life with my consuming mates? 

Krysty: You would possibly want to seek out new mates – haha. However, critically, if your folks really respect and assist you within the choices you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re frequently attempting to push you to start out consuming once more, whining that you simply’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila gained’t do any hurt, you then would possibly have to rethink who you’re spending time with. You want to determine for your self what you need to do with the time that you’ve got, and the individuals you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your good friend group is closely immersed in consuming tradition – which means most social actions revolve round alcohol – you then would possibly want to seek out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to switch that Friday evening cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m essentially the most primary sober particular person round – and I’m proud of consuming a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that folks have completely different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing a little bit extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on fireplace! There are such a lot of merchandise available on the market – suppose flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually may go on and on. I’m frequently impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Complete Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle outlets are beginning to supply such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. Should you’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s form of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you would possibly need to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and keep a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam